This is actually a flash-forward chapter. Because it just happened today and I want to tell you the story till it´s really hot and till I´m still very upset. So, there is me and my study group of 7 other people. We are like 50/50 boys/girls so gender equality and shit is always a thing with us. First, when I started my new school in Autumn (It´s a non-degree, 1 year school) I was really excited, because of new people and possibilities and frightened, because I was the only foreigner there whose mother language was not German. Although my German is pretty well (I´m living here for more than 2 years now) I´m still very insecure. It´s just in my character.
So after two months, we had to do a school project and suddenly I realized that nobody wanted to work with me. It was definitely not because of my skills because there are people in my group worse than me. They just didn´t want to work with me. But sweet Lord Jesus, they had to. I was really upset about it and people kept not asking my opinion about everything involved in Project. So I fucking started to say or cry my opinions out loud. But still, when I was not doing it I was totally ignored. No wonder sometimes I hate them. They are just cold-hearted and I am just shy.
Just today we got an e-mail that we will be going to another city for few days. And there is another girl there, the loser one. And nobody likes her. Even me. Just let me tell you about the other two girls. Both of them think they´re the center of the world. I actually have nothing against them but they do not like me. So we needed to choose rooms and nobody asked me, they just sent me with this loser girl. Aaaand for the first time I directly told them that I didn´t want with her. Nobody´s answering. I hope it will be okay and they won´t hate me more because of this. I literally hate my life now.
And today is 14th February, Valentine´s day. And my Husband is in another country for a week because of work(he didn´t even text me today). And I need to babysit for another family because I need money.
Oh, will it ever get better?