It wasn’t like a big bang. Not at all. It was so silent, I could hardly notice that everything was going to change. It was almost an year ago and I’m still not realising it like i should.
At first I felt uncomfortable realising that I was being 18 and had no job. Second I tried to start working. I had plenty of part and full time jobs. But it was a waste of time. Some of them weren’t paying me at all. Then I started studying. Everything was okay till my deposit said zero and I had to ask my mum for money again and again. After that I realised I wasn’t being happy when I had a boyfriend when we both were still living with parents. No privat space = No fuck. I realised that kissing in the parks & having sex once in a month when we could sneak out from the parties for 5-10 minutes, was a huge problem.
And, at last, I left.
Found a job abroad, took a visa and left.
I left my family, my best friends and my boyfriend. I left my house and the streets I love. I left my country.
I couldn’t realise that before my departure. When the airplane started, I felt anxious, but I didn’t cry as usual. That’s where I found out that everything were going to be OKAY.