Chapter 3: Overthinking

I’m a great lover. And I’ve always been in love since my puberty happened. I hated it first but then learned to appreciate my character and ways of living.

I always said to my boys (and they were way too many) that if it should be an one night stand, then, please, never ever call me again. But they kept calling, started dating me and after 2-3 dates they were “sick”, they had “flu”, they were “abroad”. One of them even pretended to have cancer. First I was super sad but then, when I realised that it was all a lie, I was even more sad. Just like I thought that only thing boys liked in me was my vagina and then they wanted to go away as soon as possible before the real dating.

I had insecurities about my body. Oh, some extra kilograms. Oh, ugly boobs. And I found some extra public hair on my body. Then I started shaving my pubes. It got itchy and I had plenty of ingrown hair. I was so afraid of sex because of all these things, that pause between losing my virginity & second sex was 21 months. Aand I did it with the same guy…

These stories are 3-4 years away from me. I know that they won’t repeat themselves unless I will decide that I hate myself and my body again. Now I have a boyfriend, being 10kgs heavier & never perfectly shaven, we fuck so much we can. 

It’s not about you, it’s about finding the right guy. ”All you need is just a little patience”.

Stop overthinking. It can really damage you. 

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