Chapters of Book

Chapter 4: My twice-of-my-age boyfriend from past

I was 15
He said he was 19
Then 21
He apologized and said he was 25
Finally I found out he was 29

One a day I’m lying in my bed. Thinking about how my friends are starting to lose their virginities and all I’ve ever done is french kiss with my first and only boyfriend when I was 13. My phone beeps, I take it and there is a simple text “My name is Andre(changed), nice to meet you”.

Me, as a virgin emotional teenager, start fighting about how I don’t like to talk to random strangers(I love talking to random strangers, literarry. I’m addicted to it). He starts being rude. He starts acting so childish, that I think he’s a teenager too and I say “Does your mother know that you’re being so rude to girls?” and he said “First, I am 19 already. Nobody needs to know where I am. And second, she died when I was 13. Good Night”

And I’m feeling like an asshole. I’m feeling like the worst person in the world and I’m starting to excuse. Saying I’m sorry he suddenly says “You two have the same name”. And I’m feeling excited. I decided I needed to meet that guy. It was so emotional for me.

We sent eachother thousends of messages. He even paid the costs for my phone once. He said he loved me. He wanted to sext me sometimes too. It was awkward. Being a virgin and with porno-based sex education I couldn’t really understand the meaning of many things. Once he started texting like “I imagine you in a red lingerie, lying in my bed…” and all I texted was “I better sleep naked, good night”. After five years I realise how dumb it sounds but it was really normal for a 15-years-old child. CHILD.

Then we met.
In the middle of the main street of the city. That’s the place where most of internet couples meet. We took a walk, he says nothing important, just a bunch of useless things. I think he is okay. I do not want to meet anymore. I’m afraid, but I don’t know why.

He said he had to move to other country. We met second and the last time. Some of my friends said he was a good-looking and handsome. I didn’t think so. I wanted him to go but I didn’t want to feel lonely. Finally he left. Angry because I didn’t have sex with him. I was glad I didn’t.

After few months I was stalking him on facebook. I saw his birthday label said way more years than he said to me. I saw he had a new girlfriend. Oh, a pregnant girlfriend. And I felt sorry because of them, because his baby would be only 15 years younger than his ex-girlfriend.

I was a lucky one
I escaped a pedophile


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